I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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