help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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