I wish I only lived at night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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