is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
