Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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