this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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