I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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