What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
