i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
