He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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