if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
