I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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