We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
