That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
