I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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