maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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