so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
