Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
