Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
