But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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