I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
