A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Come see our sink grown plant.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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