The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
