it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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