I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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