I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
