I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
