This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
