my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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