last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
