Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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