I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
