please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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