I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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