I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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