One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
