Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
