this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
