I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
