So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
