threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
