My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
