you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
