I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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