once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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