That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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