You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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