I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
