Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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