The maid of honor just puked.
birth control should be required to get into college
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
