He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
