so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
