Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
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